The Fast and the furious in Oyo town

Genius, digital technologist, and storyteller

The Fast and the furious in Oyo town

September 15, 2019 Free Content 0

I’ve had gangsta experiences in this life sha. Let me tell you about the time I was chased by bad guys.

On one of my road trips outside Lagos, I arrived Oyo town and parked safely to ask for directions. Suddenly, an Okada with two men behind the rider pulled over and the last man jumped down and began to approach me. I saw him reach under his buba for something.

Of course, alarm bells went off in my head. I dropped my phone, manoeuvred the car back on the road and drove off at a moderate speed.

I kept my eyes on them via my rear mirror, saw him dash back to the bike, jump on it, and give chase.

Oh! Is that how you wanna play? Bring it on!

Brain issued instructions for some adrenaline and body complied. Hitting the accelerator pedal, I sped off.

Here I was, a complete stranger in a town I was visiting for the first time, and I was being chased by suspected robbers.

How I wan talk am say dem collect car from me? Hian!

I’ve been doing this Transporter/Fast n Furious shit for years, so putting some distance between me and the bike was easy. The okada had 3 men on it, which means it was overloaded and couldn’t move as fast as it should. That worked in my favour.

I soon came to a junction with a traffic warden and stopped to ask her for the nearest police station.

She told me it was far down the very road we were on. I kept checking out the rear mirror and soon saw the bike appear again in the distance.

The unarmed warden could be of no help if they caught up with me, so I thanked her, engaged gear and zoomed off again.

This was getting to be a thrill.

Now, this is where doing fast n furious in Naija is a scam. Potholes. I soon ran into a stretch of the road with pot holes everywhere.

And that worked in favour of my hunters. I did the best under the circumstances. If I broke something serious in my car and crippled it, they’d catch me. See? Forget the fabu you see in the movies where no matter what the actor did, his car wouldn’t break down. This was reality!

Anyway, I successfully pulled off a balancing act navigating the bad stretch and zoomed off, all the while keeping my eyes out for a Police station signboard.

I was almost past it when I saw it, slammed the brake and pulled a sharp left turn into a side street.

It was a lonely street and it looked like a dead end. If I had read that signboard wrong and there was no police station here, I decided I would do a U-turn and engage self-defence mode – in which case these 3 men would be needing emergency medical services.

They were on a bike and I was in a car anyway. On that narrow, quiet road, it wouldn’t be difficult to execute a textbook move, run them over and go my way in peace.

Fortunately, there was a police station there and I drove in sharply and jumped out of the car to alert the officers standing around.

The DPO was outside and I was still explaining when the okada arrived in front of the station. I pointed it out to the DPO just before it turned around and sped off.

DPO assigned two armed men to get in my car and give chase. Oh boy! This was getting more gangsta!! Wa s’ere!

If you’re dying to ask me why the police didn’t use their own van, sorry; I didn’t ask. Maybe there was no fuel in it. Or it was broken down. I don’t know.

Anyway, we moved and went after the okada, but it was a futile chase. They had disappeared. I returned the 2 officers to the station and thanked the DPO.

He gave me two different numbers to call should I run into them again and bid me farewell.

PS: I was half expecting him to ask me for something for the boys and was pleasantly surprised when he didn’t. No policeman there asked for anything.

There is hope. Colour me impressed.

Did I run into those men again? Nope. I did not.

This was the only occassion I’ve ever been chased by bad guys. The other time I was chased, it was by a highway anti-robbery team during another road trip. A story for another day.

Finis. This is a true story.