So, your parents want an emotional connection with you in their old age

So, there is this regular refrain about how Nigerian parents do not build emotional connections with their children in the early years and then after the children are all grown up and said parents are in old age, they want to get close and wonder why their children are not so forthcoming.

So, here is the thing. Your parents grew up in a time and setting in which warm and fuzzy was not a thing, for the most part. They were raised in a different setting from you. You wanted emotional connections with your parents because you were raised in a new, different setting and got exposed to new knowledge and new ways (partly thanks to the fact that your parents got you educated).

You young people need to be kinder to your parents. They are the products of their time and environment.

So what if in their old age they get friendlier and warmer? Is that not progress? Is that not the change you wanted? Why is it a problem now? Is it that you think they cheated you out of something?

Why not put in the work to form that emotional connnection with them NOW, seeing as they are now more open to it?

Why does it mater that it is happening now and not 20 years ago? This is family, not war. Bend. Soften your heart towards your parents and go have fun together now. They were tough on you. So what?

Here is the thing: no matter how great you think you are now as a person and a parent, you will fall short in some ways too with your own children. That is a guarantee. I hope to God that your kids are not as mean and bitter and resentful as you are now towards your parents. If not, you will learn the hard way – and too late – that you were wrong.

Your parents wanting an emotional connection may be coming late, but it is what you always wanted, so embrace it now. Sieze the moment. Make new memories. Make love, not war.

And do not forget to take lots of selfies. Sooner or later, they will be gone.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *