If your spouse changes drastically in marriage

If you are looking at what is going on between Kanye and Kim now, and asking, “What do you do if your spouse changes in marriage?”, the first thing you must settle is that change is the only constant thing in marriage. Expect it to happen. To not expect change is to be in denial.

The second thing is to accept that your partner has the right to be true to themselves, and that includes them changing their beliefs.

You stay true to yourself too. You both have to respect one another’s differences. It won’t come easy, aka human nature. But it is doable.

This is where you both put in the work. You will likely grate on one another as you work through this phase. If not properly handled, you will come close to going your separate ways. Or you actually will.

But if you navigate this stage well, you will achieve stability again.

There is a healthy dose of tolerance required for a marriage to work where the partners do not see eye-to-eye on some things. I am not talking about the condescending tolerance that many people indulge in.

It is friendly. It is kind. It is thoughtful. But it is tolerance. Tolerance is not a bad or negative thing by default.

Does a change in beliefs and outlook mean a person is no longer deserving of love? If you believe it does, there is something wrong with your mindset. That’s like people who stop talking to someone because they stopped attending their church. Horrid.

We say that change is the only constant thing in life. Marriage is a part of life. Change will happen there too, especially if you are going the long haul.

If your spouse changes, be flexible. Life is not gbas-gbos all the time. Or giving up and walking away every time you get to a slippery slope. The human race survives and progresses because it adapts better than other animals.

Put in the work. If things do not work out eventually and you finally decide you are better off apart, at least, you know you gave it your best.

But if you want to live with someone for 20, 30, 50 years, change will happen. And sometimes, it will be you, not your partner, doing the changing.

Selah.